Thanksgiving jokes – funny jokes

A guy and the wife are dining in a table inside a plush restaurant, and also the husband keeps looking in a drunk lady swigging her drink as she sits alone in a nearby table.

The wife asks, “Do you realize her?”

“Yes,” sighs the husband, “She’s my ex-girlfriend. I realize she required to consuming immediately after we separate seven years back, and that i hear she hasn’t been sober since.”

“My God!” states the wife, “Who would think one could continue celebrating that lengthy.”


A girl was searching for any poultry but couldn’t locate one large enough. She requested the stock boy, “Do these turkeys have any bigger?”

The stock boy responded, “No. They’re dead.”


Teacher: What exactly are you grateful with this Thanksgiving?

Student: I’m grateful I am not a poultry.


Why did the poultry mix the street?

It had been the chicken’s break.


Who’s never hungry on Thanksgiving?

The poultry. He’s always stuffed.


What sort of key has two legs and can’t open doorways?

A tur-key.


Why did the poultry mix the street?

It had been the chicken’s break.


Sheila: I would serve sweet taters with Thanksgiving dinner, however i sitting in it.

Tom: What exactly are you serving rather?

Sheila: Squash.


It had been the very first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Attempting to re-enact the tradition, she prepared an evening meal for herself alone. The following day, her mother known as to determine how everything went.

“Oh, mother, I made myself an attractive dinner, however i had a lot trouble attempting to consume the poultry!” stated the daughter.

“Did it-not taste good?” her mother requested.

“I have no idea,Inches the blonde stated. “It wouldn’t sit still!”


It’s yesterday Thanksgiving, and also the butcher is simply locking up whenever a man begins pounding around the door.

“Please allow me to in,” states the person anxiously. “I didn’t remember to purchase a poultry, and my spouse will kill me basically don’t get home with one.”

“Okay,” states the butcher. “Let me see things i have remaining.Inches He adopts the freezer and finds out that there’s just one scrawny poultry left. He brings it to exhibit the person.

“That’s the first is too skinny. What else you have?Inches states the person.

The butcher takes the bird into the freezer and waits a couple of minutes and brings exactly the same poultry out towards the man.

“Oh, no,” states the person, “That one doesn’t look much better. You best produce each of them!Inches


Why was the monster tickled as he ate the poultry?

He didn’t remember to pluck the down.


Exactly what do you receive should you mix a poultry by having an evil spirit?

A chicken-geist.


Exactly what do you receive after consuming a significant amount of poultry and dressing?



Why shouldn’t you consider the poultry dressing?

It can make her blush.


If April showers bring May flowers, exactly what do May flowers bring?




Obama Jokes At His Final Thanksgiving Turkey Pardon


Atley Meow: Obama.. going to miss you <3

Stay Hungry: nice face u got goin there lady!

CheerUp World: Man I'm not even American but I miss him already…

mrscpjones16: I Love you President Obama. God bless you and your family.

Linda Church: you will be missed deeply ♥ GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ..

Awesome bird: Linda Church me to

Linda Church: I love you OBAMA !!!

Awesome bird: Linda Church me to

eprahs: Linda Church me too!!!!

Coecoebrown: Awww the last 20 seconds Uncle Barack.

Nick: God…I'm gonna fuckin miss this man.

ClintfromNYtoVA: The baby cry on cue after the chicken joke was priceless.

Don't Boo Vote: Some of you may remember the classic western movie ''Shane.'' At the end of the movie Shane is riding away on his horse and a little boy yells '' Shane, come back !'' Every time I think about Obama leaving office I feel the exact same way especially in light of the cartoon character who will soon be taking his place. On January 20th I will morph into that little boy and yell ''President Obama, come back! Please come back!.'' lol VIVA OBAMA.

RSP8283: I'm going to miss this man!! :(

alvin bartkewicz: he is naturally cool!

Ryooken: We will miss you.

Janice Claypole: I just love him so much. I want him to have a very happy life and to be proud of the wonderful President he's been. He is the best man ever. He is full of love.

ClintfromNYtoVA: It would have been funny if they named the turkey, Hillary.

karatebuff: 3:05 future Comic Genius there!!

n moon: Thank you so much…..despite all….